Carson is getting so big lately...
and I'm hating every minute of it! I love watching him learn and grow and become such a little man, and it makes me so proud to see him, but honestly at the same time it makes me want to cry! I love my kiddies at the age they are now! But the more I try and fight it the more it hurts. I'm trying to cope with it and embrace it rather than fight it...it's hard though and goes against everything I know!
My baby turned 4 in June...one more year until he's off to school and that will be a hard day for me! I'm trying to do everything I can to prepare him but mostly myself for that day while at the same time not taking this last year for granted. I've been trying really hard to make this last year so fun-filled and exciting (secretly I'm hoping that way he wont wanna leave me). It seems like just yesterday I found out I was finally preggers with him after trying for so long! Chris and I were over the moon...not to mention my mom as well! I remember I told Chris and nothing could wipe the grin off his face for weeks! My sweet boy has always been such a loving child. Always a cuddler, always wanting to give me hugs and kisses and tell me that he loves me. I dread the day that fades away. I pray it doesn't. Today I told him across the breakfast table that I missed him while he was sleeping and he held up the sign for "I love you" with his hands (because he was too busy eating his cereal) it melted my heart!
It seems like every day he and Lilliana and Landon are doing things to become more independent and I excitedly let them know each time how very big they are getting and how proud I am of them...but all the while I'm screaming inside "STOP IT! STAY LITTLE FOREVER!" I'm praying for strength and courage...but I'm also thinking another baby wouldn't hurt...
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